The neverending autobanning saga goes on but now in Twitter

Hi, dear readers! I guess someone may remember my older rants about google plus bannings and shit of that sort? Well, here's a new case but this time in the tweetybird microblogging service! I just posted a slightly annoyed text post in tumblr, which I just decided to c/p here for your enjoyment.

I'm sorry this isn't a naughty post and it has not a single naughty pic, either. I'll improve on that side soon, I promise to do that :)

Siiiiiiigghhhhhhhh
I was setting up a twitter account earlier today. All I got to do was to post something like “Good morning, everyone” and some other simple thing. Followed a user I wanted to chat with, while doing that clicked “show” on a bunch of their posts that were automagically hidden for being #nsfw. Finally I searched for Bailey Jay, remembering she had an official twitty acct.

Being at work I did something else for a short while, then came back to that tab. What greeted me was a “you have been locked because you act like a bot” or some horseshit like that. All I could do after that was to fill a captcha and give a cell number for verification purposes. Fuck that shit. I hadn’t added a profile pic / background pic that was infringing on anyone’s copyright, as I didn’t get to do that XD

They don’t require a phone number to sign up. So I’m not going to give it now, it’s not something I feel twirper or any other social media company should have, as far as I can have my say - I know I can’t prevent some well-intentioning idiot sharing their phonebooks with everyone they encounter.

So, all in all: two text posts, a follow and five minutes of idling is apparently “automated behaviour” and worth kind of blackmailing for phone numbers - that’s what I liken this “we keep your Social Media thing under locks until you give this fucking important personal piece of information about yourself that you supposedly weren’t going to be asked for” crap as a fucking stupid and weak approach at exhortation. It’d be worse if they did this fuckery after I had actually gotten into the damn shit and maybe even relied on it somehow, being practically unable to let it go. Luckily I don’t actually invest myself into social media so if they start demanding shit I don’t want to give to them, I just tell them to fuck right off :D

Still, it’s fucking annoying. And that’s why I’m complaining here. It’s just as idiotic as Google+ autobanning based on shit it had pulled from another Google/Alphabet service (blogger). Yes, I know, I use NSFW shit in the blog but not in g+ after multiple autoflagging bans. One day they decided that all my google account folders were open and available on G+, and as the blogger folder was full of porn and shit like that, it caused an autoban. Just because they changed something of theirs. And adult content is ok in blogger, anyway, so the inconcistency is incredible.

Fuck these companies and their shit :D If I disappear from Tumblr one day you all know it’s because of something braindead like this - yet again :D

A six-month abscence

Friends!

Anyone who's been in contact with me over the years knows how I'm available. Randomly and at semirandom hours. That's normal, I guess, with work and time spent as my male self. All of us cds have to balance with these things :)

I got a new job last year. One of the biggest and weirdest things is that this new job occasionally takes me to places for short stints. This upcoming stint isn't the first one but it's deffo the longest so far. Six motherfucking months. Abroad.

So what?

So... yeah. I really don't know what. I can't guarantee getting online at all as myself during this period and I won't even try to take my few pieces of lingerie with me for the trip. I'm not sure what the other side offers, if there's even a slight chance of doing anything girly or am I doomed to just be a dude all the time.

I really don't know.
But know this: I miss you, my dear contacts :* And I'll be back more eager to play as Johanna than in ages, for obvious reasons ;)

Second hookup with more first times

After the first hookup we had talked more, obviously. She wanted to get fucked, basically :p And I wanted to be groped around, her pushing me on the bed and then lying on top of me, rubbing her hard clit against my butt. Not a rape fantasy as I'm not into that but a safe and predetermined way of feeling how it's to be overpowered. Somehow. I just wanted to know how it feels when someone's hard because of you :3 The rest was going to be made as we went.

Quick shopping

I wanted new g-strings to replace the blacks I had been using lately. Taking the simplest route I just went to a lingerie shop, wandered around and got asked if they could help me somehow. I told what I was looking for, they didn't have exactly that colour but these are what they had and this was so and this so. In the end I got two pairs, a black and a wine red g-string.

Those felt really nice but weren't as slutty and porn-y as I desired, but still good value for money.  I especially adored the way they cupped my smooth shaved balls when I had a cockring on and just plopped my hard clit out for photos or stroking :3

More lesbian playtime

We had our scheduling issues, as in we almost didn't get to meet when we had prepared to meet. It was a Friday, the last possible day in that timeframe. Can't recall why so anymore, but there were reasons. I prepared again by shaving my bits very carefully and lovingly.  Knowing how horny I got the last time I think I should've beaten off that day or earlier on Friday to last somewhat longer, but you all know hindsight... Anyway, I was prepared to be seen girlily again!

Long long day at work

Schedules dictated that we'd meet at two in the afternoon, earlier I couldn't make it (and this was already pushing it for me) and she'd need to go early (as did I). To justify my early disappearance I arrived damn early. The hours were long and kinda painful as I couldn't really concentrate on anything but the important things...

A bit before two I set out, changed to my black g-string and put one of the rings around my ballsack just because it always feels so nice ;) and it looks kinky to me :3 Just like the previous time I marched to the hotel with all the same feelings of excitement and mild panic! I kept my date up to date in kik so we'd be at the lobby without much extra waiting. That walk is, by the way, always longer than I think and I should reserve enough time.

That hotel again

At the lobby we greeted, went to the lift and straight to the room again. This time I didn't pay attention to the personell and I don't think they paid attention to us, either. She told she'd need a shower and I had immediately started undressing, because I wanted to show my new g-string bulging so sexily. All I can say is that she enjoyed it - and so did I ;)

So, she went to take a quick shower and I played with the outfits. She had brought a body as I had talked about how I had always wanted to try one out. Those aren't good for lesbian dates, but more for "personal enjoyment", we agreed. Felt good though ;)

Dressing up

I asked for her input and she suggested the white corselet. There were, sadly, no stockings to go with it, but that wasn't a big issue. To go with that I put on blue panties that had an inviting open butt. For some reason I also put on a frilly blue microskirt that could be lifted for that much more naughty views :3

Her outfit included blue g-string, which was what I had begged her to do, I just adore g-strings <3

Playtime!

As soon as we were dressed up we started fondling each other. While rubbing our panty bulges together we grouped each other's butts.

Then I dropped on my knees and started again kissing her bulge, teasing it with my lips and slipping my tongue inside for the shaft, the tip and her balls. She moaned lustily and that turned me on even more! I didn't want to waste time and released her clit for sucking and stroking <3<3<3I love sucking cock <3<3<3 I just adore cock <3<3<3 Cooooock <3<3<3

Surprise buttsexxx

When she was even harder and hornier, I got up and rubbed my butt against her superhard clit I whispered "I want to know hot it feels" and meant that she'd do what we had talked about... but it didn't go exactly so.  The hardon against my ass felt sexy but then I heard the sound of the lube bottle opening and soon after her finger entered my boypussy :o She pushed me down on the bed, I assumed the position and waited in a kind of a scared but excited state of mind...

I felt something hot and hard against my butt. Then she pushed her clit in, it didn't quite hurt but felt strange. She settled herself lying on my back and whispered in my ear that "it's all the way in now, honey" and I couldn't do much more than mumble incoherently. I had lost my anal virginity <3 For a while she fucked me from behind, I moaned. After a while she asked if she should pull out and I said yeah. I got up and pushed her sitting on the bed.

Ride like the wind

My idea was just so sit on her lap like a good girl and then do something, but that hard clit and her position called me in a different direction. I climbed on top of her, with her lubed clit poking at my pussy. She asked if I was sure of this and I replied that "fuck yeah I am sure!"

I aimed her clit on the lips of my pussy and pushed my ass down on it. Just like with a buttplug or a dildo, I impaled myself on her delicious clit <3<3<3<3<3 When it was all in me I was moaning again in lust :3 I leaned forward, fondled her tits and started riding slowly... but increasing the speed a bit. I have to admit that I'm not used to such movements so my leg started hurting a bit and I had to reposition somewhat. That's not something you see in porn, but this was real life :p

Anyway, I rode her and was somewhat noisy because it was so good. She sucked my clit and I just couldn't take something like this for long. I exhaled "I'm coming", she said "don't cum yet" but "I can't stop it anymore.." so she just dove in and sucked me even more furiously, I came and shot a good load of cum in her mouth! I got complimented for having a huge load of tasty cum *blushes*

Well... what next? After cumming I went limp and as I've said, I typically don't get up for a second round quickly. She fucked me more, from different angles and all, so that I got fucked properly and for real :o I moaned a lot, asked "gently, gently" a good bunch of times while getting it.

For the record I have to say that it didn't hurt per se, but her clit was large-feeling for me. She said that I apparently wasn't used to cock at all as she's not that well hung. Not how it felt to me! :p Getting fucked didn't, this first time at least, make me crave for it or love it. It just kinda was. I was being fucked. By a gurl <3

The other first time

Being afraid of the mess of cum flowing from my pussy for hours, I asked her to stop and then I went down on her again, working against my own "I'm not that horny anymore, I can't suck too well now" thing and it worked <3 As I've said, I really like giving head and pretty quickly I noticed that I had got hard again <3 She appreciated that, kissed my clit lovingly and put my cockring on so that I'd also stay hard :3 

With a bit more cocksucking arousing me I said I'd fuck her now if she wanted and boy, did she want it! <3 She lubed my clit and started riding me <3 

That was lovely especially as I could also suck / slurp / lick her clit periodically <3<3<3<3 I had never had any anal before so it was a very new experience for me :3

More than a mouthful

We tried a few positions, in addition to her riding me. Somehow I didn't do all that I'd always fantasized of doing but I guess that was because I, as I keep saying, wasn't my horniest anymore.

Didn't cum a second time, though, but a part of the reason could be that the ring I had on was the middle one (that I use around my sack or just on the shaft, in front of the balls) and it was damn tight, maybe numbing me too much. So I had to quit and just go down on her again <3<3<3<3

I sucked, stroked, licked and kissed her clit, I worshipped it like the cockhungry slut I was <3<3<3 Maybe she was near already, but pretty soon she moaned that she's about to cum and that obviosly made me work harder on her :3 Remembering a porn thing I slowly drooled some spit on the tip of her clit, then spread that all around with my tongue, kept stroking, sucked, licked, kissed, stroked, sucked and... had her explode in my mouth with such force that cum flew all around... it surprised me. Oops.

That was it for the second hookup, who knows what happens the next time :3 But I do have more stuff I want to try out!

My first time with another gurl

After that harbour-side chat I told you about the last time we slowly started working towards meeting again, but properly this time. Without prying eyes and much more intimately. I got hard just when I was writing this and remembering... ;) teehee!

Well planned is half ready

We really didn't need to plan much, just agree to a time and a place. The first idea was a simple serviceless hotel (which are, surprisingly, much used for these things in here, I've been told) but as we had to get our worktimes to match this playtime, that hotel chain wasn't ok because of their schedules. In the end she just booked a room in a hotel in or near the center of HEL on a date that suited us both. Of course I had shaved my balls and clit extra carefully the last evening for perfection ;)

She had gone there before me and the idea had been that I'd just follow but as the place required a key to even get to the correct floor, she had to come let me in at the lobby already. Meh.

Along the way to the hotel I was connected to her in kik and giving estimates for my arrival, as I was being a bit late. That's because I had changed from my awful boy underpants to my lovely black g-string so that I could reveal myself properly :3 Hot, sexy, arousing :3

On my way

It was a nice summery day, I had left work a bit early. While walking I felt my hard clit straining against the g-string, the thread grinding against my boypussy so very pleasantly... I felt like I was blushing all the time, my pulse was up and well, you can maybe imagine, I was somewhat nervous. But that was in a good way. I had high hopes!

When I got to the hotel's lobby she was waiting and we just went to the lift and then to the room. My paranoia made me think that the young cleaning ladies were snickering at me but I didn't care :p The thing I had thought of doing in the lift was to show somehow the back part of my g-string in the lift already, so that she's know what I had in mind ;) Maybe I'd even grinded my butt against her crotch..  but there wasn't time for that this time. Sadly.

You know, I wanted to show her something like this:

In the room

We got in the room. Her lingerie box was waiting on the bed and she encouraged me to rummage through it, which I did very happily and excitedly <3<3<3<3<3<3

After a while of going ooh and aaaaah with the sexy pieces of lingerie and chatting about them she asked if I could get my shoes off. I said that I'll take everything off when I start! So I went to the door and removed my t-shirt first just so my whale tail could not be ignored... then I bent deeply down to remove my shoes and socks. When I straightened up she was behind my, pressing against me and whispered lustily into my ear "may I help you with the jeans?" and I just went mmmhmmm while wrapping my hands around to grope her butt...

Revealing

I was hard as fuck. She opened my jeans and pulled them down a bit. My clitty barely stayed in the caress of my g-string. She loved it and exclaimed "Wwwwwow! You had prepared for me, hadn't you?" and I half-whispered that "I wanted to be looking sexy for you".

Before I could notice she had dived in front of me and had started to blow me :o I made some horny sounds, I know, and enjoyed immensely. Then I had to push her away and said that I want to be dressed up properly :)

I ended up wearing some wine-red stockings, garter belt, corselet, very whore-like hot-pink panties and a red dress. It looked and felt wonderful. Not to mention how hot it was to dress up while someone was watching and clearly approving ;) She had her own set on much quicker than I did. Then we started fondling and groping each other, rubbing our bulging panties against each other <3

Quickly I said I wanted to taste her clit so she turned and went to the bed, and just when she was bending over to crawl on it, I just went behind her and did some bulge-on-boypussy grinding. She moaned lustily and said "I want you inside me"

Blowjob and 69

She lied on her back, legs spread for me to worship her clit. It wasn't hard yet and I enjoyed that, I wanted to make her hard just with my mouth (spoiler: I needed my hands too, the amateur I am :p ). I took my sweet time kissing and licking the clit through the panties, before pulling the g-string out of the way and going at the yummy, rock-hard clit for real.

After a while I begged for 69 as I had always wanted to try that with a girl and I knew it was her favourite <3 I was on top and she bottomed. It was so fucking hot and sexy that I felt I was going to cum very, very quickly. I moaned that I'll cum I'll cum I'll cuuuuuummmmmmm and then I just kinda thrusted my clit deeper and pumped out my load. She took it all and told how good it tasted... She asked if it was my first time and I admitted that yes, that was the first time I came in someone's mouth...

My main problem is that when I've cummed, my horniness vanishes rapidly. So we took a bit of a break, just talked, fondled each other while lying on the bed and so on. She tried to get my clit going again but as I am typically a "one shot girl" it's not that easy or quick... sadly.

Cum all around!

After a while, I was stroking her and started licking and sucking her clit, I was hornier again and just devoured her clit. Not long into it she told that if I keep at that she'll cum soon, which just made me redouble my efforts :3 Soon I heard her moan "oh god noowwww" and felt the load shoot in my mouth. And on my face. And chest. There was so much cum <3

So that was pretty much it, my first time with another girl <3 There were of course some awkwardnesses and "how the fuck does this shit work?" moments but all in all it was fucking hot <3

2017 in retrospect

My 2017 was a bit weird. Busy as fuck, as you may have guessed :D But I also did some scary but awesome shit for the first time in my life. None of it went like in my #fantasies posts, but that's why they're fantasies and not real life, right? :)

So. I'll slit my stories in a few posts so they're kinda more sensemaking and less wall of texty and I believe you all appreciate it somehow. That just means that the juicier posts have to be waited for as this won't have any actual smut ;)

Three times a lady

At some point last spring or summer I got contacted by another girl by email. We exchanged a good number of mails just talking about crap, we seemed to have a lot in common. I raised my concern of not having slutty outfits nor space for them so I only had g-strings and nothing else. She said if I wanted I could borrow hers! Nice!

Then at some point she asked if I would feel like meeting in person. This was, as you may imagine, fucking scary. But I answered "yes" to my great shock :D

Then we started somehow planning on how to meet, where and when. Luckily it was summertime and I had some good slack at work so I could do a "lunch meeting". The idea was to meet in civilian clothes, acting our Clark Kent roles, not real ourselves. Because it was going to be a chat with the aim of seeing how the chemistry worked and if we indeed had anything in common and so on.

Did I already say SCARY AS FUCK? :D

Yeah, we agreed on this and that, but still I wore my black g-string and carried my cockrings with me because I felt like it <3 And it was arousing <3

The first meeting - ever

One early June afternoon, if I remember correctly, I set out and walked towards the meeting point. We were using kik to actually find ourselves, as we hadn't shared any face photos or anything for obvious reasons. We met, introduced ourselves (myself simply just Jossu which was damn hot and again, scary). She drove us somewhat further away and we went to sit down next to the boat harbour or piers or something, next to the water anyway.

After the slightly awkward early not-that-important chitchat we got to some more real stuff. I'm kinda ashamed to admit that I wasn't the one who first ventured into the naughty subjects... but that's how it goes sometimes. In short: we had a nice, good long chat on a nice warm summer afternoon and it felt good. I don't know if you know how weird it was to tell about all these things I write about pretty freely, but boys and girls, it was damn weird. But also arousing because I was telling something very intimate to someone who shared similar desires and fantasies.

She dropped me off just about where I was picked up, and along the way she "confessed" she was wearing. And I said that I had my black g-string on because I wanted to wear them for the occasion :3 At the dropoff when we said goodbyes she at the last moment laid her hand on my thigh, I looked into her eyes and just smiled :)

When walking back to work I thought to myself "why the fuck didn't I move her hand on my bulge? Fuck!" These things happen to me a lot, sadly, not just in sexy cases but everywhere. I told about this thought of mine to her in a chat later on and she said, that she had also longed for a Touch but... there's always the next time ;)

So what?

The real result of this was that we started planning a real meeting. A lesbian meeting. Oh yes...

And we did get to some actual stuff, but I'll write about that the next time!