Monday, August 24, 2015

Some light at the end of the tunnel

I hope it's not a train

Worn-out jokes aside, just as I got the previous post done  -  at long last* - things got a bit clearer. Clearer and more positive from my point of view. Of course I still have to cross my fingers and wait, but now with much, much more hope than a few days ago :)


As I promised, you'd get to know when I got to know, as soon as possible. I may get my week of freedom and much sooner than I had expected. We're talking a timeframe of 4-7 weeks from this day on. It's late August now so at best I'm girlying for a week in late September already! At worst in October's darkness, but girlying anyway.

In a way later might not be that bad as it'd be easier to conceal a full slut-outfit under my everyday clothes. And that I would enjoy quite a bit, quite a bit indeed. But hey, we'll see!

95% chance of success

I'm not daring enough to call anything certain yet - until the last day. But things look pretty damn good in general. So good that the schedule is the biggest issue and the if part of everything is most likely not an if anymore at all.

When I know for a fact that this is happening I'll start setting up my shopping list (in my horniness it will never be finished or even reasonably sized XD). And if at all possible, I'll get some things bought in advance so I don't have to rush on my first gurlday. If that's not doable, I'll live, as the most important thing is already happening at that point.

What do I want?

To buy the first proper set in about four years. Then some toys to go with it. And most importantly: get some.

As I've said before, I'd love to get to play with another gurl. But us crossdressers are apparently a shy bunch and sometimes you hear some very positive things from someone but then they just fade away. There's not much I can do about that, so I'll just complain a bit. More, if said someone was looking yummy :p

When I know more about my chances I'll be able to try to get a good hold of someone for real and plan a bit :) Dunno if it's the horniness talking or if I'm feeling that sure, but I'm not being shy at all right now. I'd go and meet someone, another more or less closeted crossdresser, in full readiness to show myself in my slut's outfit <3 Not to mention what I'd be ready to do then <3

Backup options

In case no one's interested in me or is able to play when I could, there's always the plan B that I've also mentioned before. The gay sauna Vogue that I've already visited as my male self. Somehow that feels less scary than going to the "video area" of the Keltainen Ruusu.

That's something I've talked about with a gurlfriend. Why does a publicly and openly gay sauna feel less scary than a porn shop's fuck-corner with a mostly gay audience? We decided that because the gay sauna is just that, there's nothing left to guess, everyone knows what can go on in there even if you go there just to have a shower and enjoy sitting in the heat of the sauna.

But the porn shop is a different beast. It's not just for pervs and shadowy figures, normal people go there in open daylight (that fact alone may surprise some folks :p ) and that somehow scares me. The "normal" people maybe seeing me, someone they don't know, going to the cashier's asking to get to the sublevel... when everyone knows or guesses that "that guy's gonna suck dick or something lol". Maybe I am just a tad paranoid but that's how it feels.

* I had written the post a couple of weeks before but I just didn't get to press the publish button *blushes*

This is still not me, sadly

Tuesday, August 18, 2015


My plans are not as secure as I had thought. We'll see how things proceed, but... I fear for them. Fuck this shit already, I want certainty, not endless yes-no-maybes!

Playtime at work

Yeah, I am a naughty girl and play at work, so what? ;) Last week I enjoyed myself immensely. I came to work wearing my panties. Then, as soon as there was a nicely quiet moment, I sneaked to ring and plug myself and take photos ;) Yes, I am teasing or trying to tease you and not showing any pics in the blog! >:)

Out of the eight hours I spent about six plugged in. I mostly chatted with other horny cds and cd lovers, listened to porn and all that stuff. Horny, hard and eager for cock.

Needless to say, I didn't achieve much work-related that day, but hey, we all have those days, don't we? ;) Before I left home I went and came like the old faithful itself. That was simply beautiful. It's just a crying shame I was at work so I didn't dare to cum all over my face and body but instead did it cleanly...